"Get out your sundress and run- no, dance- in that field of forgiveness. Let the flowers get lost in your hair, embrace the warmth while it kisses your skin, and enjoy the grass brushing against your knees, girl. The only thing keeping you away from shouting freedom is yourself." So often when I write, I am writing pieces of advice. I can only imagine people hearing this and thinking, "This girl thinks she has it all figured out, doesn't she?", when it is quite the contrary. I mean, half the time, I have no idea what is about to come onto paper. But once I start writing and going deeper into the pages, I realize that I am writing letters to myself- inspired by my Creator. In this situation, God proved to me just how much redemption He can bring if we would just listen to the advice that He gives us, for once. Have you ever felt like your life comes in reoccurring themes? Maybe you've had experiences like seeing an image, repeatedly, or hearing a word or phrase and everything you would do led back to that. Maybe you do and don't notice it, perhaps. For me, this occurs when I am going through a valley in my personal life. Usually, these reminders are words or phrases- and sometimes things such as butterflies. There was a time in my life when my word was forgiveness. Forgiveness. It can seem messy at times, when our own selfish reasoning for not forgiving weighs out the truth- we cannot fully love if we do not forgive. Due to the messiness that I feared, I tried avoiding it, entirely. I tried running as far away from that field of forgiveness that I could. I was afraid of hurting again, afraid of facing it. But God didn't stop tugging on me to listen to what He was trying to do. He didn't give up. He inspired me to write about the importance of forgiveness until it consumed my thoughts. "God, make me a lover. Make me a forgiver." I would repeat these words everywhere I went. In crowds. In silence. "Make me a lover. Make me a forgiver." My prayers were desperate attempts to see how God was going to break through to not only me, but to the things that brought me to that point. Then one night in a crowded room, my moment of redemption peaked through. Although the room was crowded, it was silent, and God's voice seemed louder than ever. "Let it go. I know it's terrifying to you, but honestly, what are you afraid of? Why are you so afraid to give me your hurt? What do you have to lose? Don't you know that I have already won the battle that you have been fighting? Don't you remember what I have done, forgiving the ones that crucified me? Loving the ones that turned their backs against me? Don't you understand that I was hurt by what they did to me, as well? Just come to the One who can take this pain, who can take care of you." Taking that advice was one of the most peaceful things I had ever done. Casting my cares on Him was what I needed to do. He showed me, yet again, that HE is in control and can do anything with the power of prayer. Although this was some time ago, it's something that will always stick with me. We are called to drop every bit of our baggage and place it in the hands of the One that can restore us. We are meant to let go of the things holding us back from God. To let go and let God. "Cast all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7 That was my story. Now what is yours? Is there something repetitive in your life that you might not notice, but may just be God trying to speak to you? Are you holding a piece of yourself back? Are you afraid of only what your earthly eyes can see? If so, I encourage you to dance in the fields of redemption that God has set out for you. Allow yourself to stop hiding beneath the shadows and embrace the light that your future holds. Give yourself the freedom you deserve and give God the glory that He deserves. The only thing holding you back is yourself.
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April 2016
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