Every day, I find myself standing in a small room with just You and I.
I speak to the concrete wall that is covered with a mural of people. In the corner of the room lies a tape recorder that spews out false truths and meaningless noise. You stand in front of me and You speak, yet I tell myself it's not You. But, God, You are so apparent. You have Your hands outstretched and You wait for me to dance. I don't want to live as though You aren't in this room with me. I want to acknowledge Your presence and dance with Your Spirit. I want to converse and laugh with You as Your whispers break through all other noise. I want You to guide me and teach my how to bring these paintings to life. As we dance, as we laugh, as we sing, and as I learn- I want to fall in love with You all over again. I am done living as though You don't have Your hands out for me to take. This afternoon, I quickly scribbled this in my journal during a prayer meeting at Iglesia Radical, the church I'm attending in Jacó, Costa Rica. As those pages began to turn, I man started talking about the "wants" that we hold in our relationship with God. We always seem to tell Him the ways that we want to be closer to Him or improve in some way, instead of just doing it. The man spoke about how he was listing things off to God that he wanted to be better at, when the Lord pointed out a verse to him. "Thou shall not want". This spoke volumes to him and he replaced "I want" with "I am". He asked us to start listing off the things that we are going to do to get closer to Abba, rather than the things that we want to do. It's so much easier to follow through commitments when you don't sugarcoat them with "maybes". I continue to be amazed at the irony that God places in my life, sometimes. As soon as I wrote out a list of the things that I wanted to do to get closer to Him, finishing it off with "I am", the man said exactly what I had just done. I believe that when the Lord throws things out to you in ways like that, He means business. So, I'm challenging myself and you to replace our "I want" 's with "I am" 's.
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April 2016
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